March Madness #8: Thirtysomething
Thirtysomething, the television show that aired for 4
seasons and 85 episodes back in the late 80s, brings back such fond memories of
my musical education.
What?
Yes. It aired during the last year of my bachelor’s degree
and ended the last year of my master’s degree. Basically the four most
important years of my musical education studying at Simpson College and the
University of Missouri – Kansas City Conservatory of Music getting degrees in
piano performance.
I’ve been re-watching it on DVD (not Netflix, but that ol’
fashioned medium) late at night during the last week and it’s been bringing up
memories of those late 80s: Where I was, what I was thinking, who I was – or
who I thought I was – and who I thought I’d grow up to be.
Yeah, it was about a bunch of literal thirty-something
yuppies. Yes, it was a pre-cursor of Friends,
that tackled parenthood, marriage, divorce, careers, death, relationships,
affairs, by creating a community of friends who sorted through major and minor
angst-filled episodes trying to figure out what it meant to be a man or a woman
in the new paradigm of the post-Reagan world.
But I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as looking forward
into the future I’d never have because I was going to try to become a
professional musician. The characters on TV were housewives, advertising
executives, a professor, and a photographer who didn’t really know how to
create a career. I guess I identified with Melissa (the photographer) because
she was “artistic”. I also had a crush on Hope (Michael’s wife). I kinda
thought I was like Elliot cause he was also “artistic” and was a mess,
literally and emotionally.
I had a love/hate relationship with these characters because
I thought how cool it might be to have a “normal” life, but I was so scared I
might actually have to become one of them by failing to become a professional
musician. Of course, life throws you
curves and I have ended up like one – actually two – of them. I’m a professor
(Gary, the man/boy who refused to grow up) and have to admit have actually,
clearly turned into Michael, the Jewish angst-filled worrywart par excellence. Who knew?! (Well, if you could have
known my mother, you’d understand why me being a Jewish worrywart is not that
much of a stretch…) And I’ve had a few major career changes and personal
depressions like Michael went through during the course of the series.
It would have been nice to have been in one place, had
friends, had a house, and a solid base while dealing with some of these pains
of growing up. Instead, my wife and I traveled all around the country – from
New York City to Chicago to Tulsa to Pittsburgh to Memphis to Ithaca to Miami
to Montreal plus a bunch of other places in between. We don’t have that
community. I regret that, particularly while watching Thirtysomething.
But how does this connect with my musical education?
A few things, first for me it’s about the culture of social media that didn’t
exist twenty-five years ago. Being a student during the late 80s was a time
when TV was ancillary to those other mediums of entertainment – bar bands,
movies, rented videos, and live concerts and shows. I would spend my early
mornings practicing (and in KC, that meant 8am to 10am every morning), then
head into classes, then more practicing and/or rehearsing with singers, then
studio classes or opera rehearsals, then dinner, then more opera rehearsals or
practicing (into the wee hours). Late nights were spent on the phone to NYC
with my future wife. I also read the complete works of Shakespeare, assistant
edited those opera anthologies, was a research assistant on those musical
theatre anthologies, played dozens of vocal recitals, played dozens and dozens
of operas, got into Juilliard Opera Center as a coaching fellow, and maintained
(barely) a long-distance relationship via nothing but a phone and a voice. We
spent thousands of dollars on phone bills…
But every day, I got a lot done. A LOT DONE.
I can’t tell you how different it is now. Everyone having to
check email, keeping up with their blog readings, their tweeting friends or
FBing statuses, texting continually through classes, rehearsals, lessons,
dinners, etc.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating, or overstating the time and
energy involved in today’s social online whirlwind. It has taken a toll on what we now can’t expect from
ourselves, our colleagues, and our students. How is there time to get it all
done, learn everything you need to learn, have all the experiences you’d wish
for, yada, yada, yada?
Thirtysomething was the only TV show I tried to watch regularly.
I remember rescheduling coaching’s and once even calling in sick to an opera
rehearsal I was supposed to play in order to catch an episode (once you missed
an episode, that was it until it’d go into re-runs in the summer). I loved the issues that it tackled, how
passionate the acting was, how funny it was and how moving it could be. Men
cried on the show and that was new for me.
Watching the episodes now makes me pine away for the days
when I had the time to practice the Barber piano concerto just for fun. When I
thought I’d have decades to work through all the Beethoven sonatas and play
every operatic score written in the 20th century without dropping
any notes.
Ah youth!
So I look back and wonder why I thought I had to separate
myself from others in order to focus on my career. Why I lost touch with my
friends from those years so long ago. Facebook’s not a substitute for actual
contact and with every year that does go by, I wish I was back in Dr. Baker’s
studio class listening to the Barber sonata or Scriabin etudes getting nervous
for my own renditions in front of my peers.
That was my community, plus the singers I worked with and
rehearsed with and played recitals with. I’m glad that still exists in today’s
world.
Off to meetings and rehearsals and squeaking in thirty
minutes on a Chopin Ballade instead of reading email. Sounds like a good plan!
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